Online Mature Dating: Pros and Cons

pros and consLet’s face it. When you’re dating at the age of 40s, chances are there but you won’t be finding your soulmate at the bar. Yes, most definitely, in your 20’s and early 30’s this was the place to hook up, but in the world of mature dating, that scene is long gone. Middle-aged singles aren’t hitting the bars for anything more than a beer with a friend, or to chat over a glass of wine. So, what are the best options for the mature dating scene? Many have successfully chosen the online dating route, and are quite happy with the results. However, as with everything, there are some cons to be discussed with the pros. Some wonderful people at Finkel and Associates put together a study investigating a variety of aspects with online dating. They were trying to prove  a) online dating was different from face to face dating, and b) if online dating was indeed the superior choice. Results? Let’s read on and find out!

The Finkel and Associates study found that online dating differed in three main areas: Access, Matching and Communication:

1) Access

Yes, you most certainly will have access to a wider selection of people in the mature dating sites. But is there a “too much?”

Pros: Online dating takes you out of your normal sphere of people and places. Many mature singles complain that they don’t get enough chances to meet new people and find potential dates  because they continue in the same patterns of places and friends. The online dating scene allows people to meet others all over the world making it easier to meet new people, without even leaving the house. Searchers then have the choice to look for someone nearby or travel to new destinations to meet  new people. Online dating provides access to more potential partners than they could ever find in their daily life. It becomes especially beneficial when people are seeking partners of a particular type, such as online dating sites for over 40 men and women.

Cons: With so many choices, searching for a potential mate online can become extremely overwhelming! Online daters often spend more time “shopping” for the perfect partner over actually dating and talking. Many find that that their day is consumed with a large response of  emails, and if they are not careful, it can become an obsession!

2) Matching

Yes, thru technological advancements, the matching game has been perfected. Answer a few questions, and viola! You may find your soulmate! Or maybe not….

Pros: The algorithms that mature dating sites often offer are amazing at matching personality types, and can help guide people towards more compatible partners. It face to face, many important questions go unasked, and differences unheard, causing rifts down the road. With the matching game, you are more likely to meet someone with your same dating preferences.

Cons: However! Computer generated questionnaires are not always the most efficient matchmakers! Matching is a difficult process and this testing may not be 100% accurate for everyone. Matching may in fact overlook potentially good partners by process of elimination. And what every happened to the old saying opposites attract? With this new method of pairing, the  option of finding that kind of match gets tossed aside and overlooked as incompatible.

3) Communication

mature women datingLet’s face it, due to smart phones, texts, emails and social media, communication as we know it has changed forever. This change is tied directly to the way communication is now conducted in online dating. 100% of the initial contact is NOT in person, but usually through email.  Phone conversations may follow, then after the initial trial, an actual physical meet up may occur.

Pros: Online dating offers a number of ways for mature men and women to get to know a each other before meeting in person. This computer-mediated communication allows for a much safer and more convenient interaction, without much risk or time commitment. For the safety-conscious, and the busy folks who have time restraints in dating, this communication is an excellent way to weed through the bunch for potential partners. Plus, you can meet new people in the comfort of your home, in your pj’s. Unless you choose to converse via webcam, no one would ever know!

Cons: Unfortunately, communication through computers and smartphones are lacking some of the personal essence of a face-to-face interaction. It becomes harder to evaluate if a person is a potential match worthy of pursuing to the next step. Computer-mediated communication sometimes has an artificial and unemotional quality, and can mask good or bad qualities.

In summary, The Finkel and Associates study proved that  – a) Yes, online dating did indeed differ from face to face dating and b) evidence was quite balanced regarding which method was superior as both offered equal pros and cons.

Aside from the Finkel Study, there are many other pros and cons associated with online dating at the mature age.  There is a certain privacy associated with online dating that can’t be found elsewhere, and many people thoroughly enjoy the convenience that alone offers. Online daters have also found that their social lives have greatly improved. Not everyone may a match, but you can make some great friends along the way. But, truth be told, not all online dating experiences are pleasant. There are fake profiles and online dating scams, so exerting caution with everyone you meet is always recommended. Never disclose personal information, like address, phone number, until a real trust has been established, and you can verify that the person in the profile is indeed real.

In conclusion, it is safe to say that dating online for mature men and women is indeed very different from the “traditional” dating scene in a number of ways, and in many aspects it has superior features. However, there are potential problems as well, and mature daters should take every measure necessary to be safe, successful and happy in their mature cyber dating world.